Have you ever wondered why it\u2019s so hard to keep your New Years resolutions? Why every single year we set ourselves up with the best of intentions, with the greatest drive and motivation, with the most open hearts – and yet, by March, we\u2019re chilling on the couch watching Netflix and binging donuts – AGAIN. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Fisher College of Business estimates that only 9% of the population actually completes their New Years resolutions. Only 9%! Pretty wild when you think about it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
One of the things I love to consider is why, exactly, we as a species are so dedicated to continuing an annual ritual that factually and scientifically is proven NOT to work… but that\u2019s a blog post for another day (let me know in the comments if you\u2019d like this to be another post!). <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Today as New Years approaches, let\u2019s instead take a look at WHY it is that your New Years resolutions are just so f@cking hard to maintain in the first place. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
1. You\u2019re not picking things you ACTUALLY WANT <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Let\u2019s be real for a minute: who are you picking your NYE resolutions for? Are you picking them because YOU actually want these things, because they\u2019ll make YOU feel good? Or because they\u2019re what is expected of you, or you think you need to do in order to be loved? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Often times we are picking our resolutions (and all our goals, really) because of an external perception that these goals will somehow make us worthy of love from those around us; not because they\u2019re what we actually WANT. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Extrinsic goals – the kind we have for everybody else, are the hardest ones to achieve because they require incredible amounts of will power and determination. Why? Because at our core we don\u2019t actually want these things. We just want the love we think we\u2019ll get from achieving them. And, depending on your Human Design, a huge majority of the population just does not have this kind of willpower available to them (take a look at your G-Center, Will Center, and Energy Type for more details on this). <\/p>\n\n\n\n Intrinsic goals – the kind that light us up from within, that get us excited to get out of bed every single day, the kind that have their own natural inherent motivation because they naturally feel good to pursue; these are the goals that we want to focus on. These are our heart\u2019s desires, the ones we were put on this Earth to achieve, the reason our soul is here. These are an example of living for US vs living for everybody else. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The cool thing about intrinsic goals is that when we\u2019re living in alignment with our Heart\u2019s Desires, with our intrinsic goals, we are going to NATURALLY achieve everything else on our wishlist: more money, more love, more stability, more health, more grace, more synchronicities – all of those will flow out of you naturally as a result of you living in alignment with your soul\u2019s purpose, your heart\u2019s desires, with your intrinsic goals. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Focusing on your intrinsic goals is one of the secret ways to catalyze your success in 2024: it\u2019s a potent one-two punch that helps you radically transform your life in a way that is actually fun and feels good to you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This is why the Desire Resolution retreat <\/a>teaches you an in-depth, step-by-step process to uncover your heart\u2019s desires. When you\u2019re with us, we\u2019ll make sure what you\u2019re calling in for 2024 is in your highest alignment and will feel delicious to pursue for the entire year.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Between now and then, you can use these prompts to help you align to your hearts desires: <\/p>\n\n\n\n 2. You focus on structure and limitation instead of pleasure and expansion <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Most of our New Years goals focus on how we are going to structure, limit, or reduce ourselves: <\/p>\n\n\n\n This sounds a lot more like martial than a fun way to spend the rest of the year, am I right?! <\/p>\n\n\n\n Like seriously who wakes up in the morning and says \u201cF@ck yeah I\u2019m gonna stop doing all the things I love and enjoy today for an entire YEAR!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026. nobody \u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n Cuz that fucking SUCKS. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You do the things you do now because you enjoy them. Right, wrong, or indifferent, they make you feel good! They ease your pain. They make life worth living. <\/p>\n\n\n\n And now here you are thinking you\u2019re going to take them ALL away and it\u2019ll be easy and successful? <\/p>\n\n\n\n When we look at it from this frame it doesn\u2019t make any sense, does it? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Not to mention that from an energetic perspective; phrasing your resolutions in such a way is actually programming you to do them MORE. Our subconscious mind \/ energy don\u2019t hear the negatives in these words, so when we say \u201cstop drinking alcohol\u201d what we\u2019re programming into the field is \u201cdrinking alcohol\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Instead of creating a list of rules for yourself straight out of 1984, this year I\u2019m inviting you to focus on your pleasure. Specifically, focusing on the pleasure, joy, and expansion you will feel at the completion of the goal. How is completing this goal going to make you feel? Why do you want to achieve it? <\/p>\n\n\n\n In the Desire Resolution retreat<\/a> we will help take you through this process and reframe every one of your 2024 desires – whether you have 3 or 300 – into positive, pleasure based, embodied affirmations that actually WORK.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s a few examples to get you started: <\/p>\n\n\n\n Don\u2019t these feel so much better to achieve? <\/p>\n\n\n\n 3. You\u2019re trying to change from the MIND instead of from the body <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Many of us try to make changes from the mind. ESPECIALLY those of us who have been on the personal development track for a few years. We\u2019ve learned about beliefs, mindset, upper limits, the whole nine yards. And while this is super valuable information to have – let me be frank: changing our reality from this perspective is slow, hard, and tedious. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Why? Because you\u2019re working with a realm of reality that is slow and hard to change. The thoughts that play in our mind come from two places: the BODY\u2019s response to our environment, and the way your IDENTITY chooses to receive it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n While many teachings tell you that the mind is where everything happens (and technically when we look at the Hermetic teachings of the Kybalion this is true), the missing complexity here, the subtle teaching that is being ignored is that your thoughts are not your mind<\/em><\/strong>. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n So many of us get trapped in thinking that if we shift our thoughts then everything magickally changes – only to discover that changing your thoughts is actually quite a bit of hard work. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s the secret: when we work with the body FIRST, the thoughts (and the identity, and the mind) will change automatically. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n When we focus on releasing tension and anxiety in the body, everything becomes easier. When we focus on breathing when we are stressed, everything releases. When we focus on surrender and trust, the world is able to meet us in its beauty. <\/p>\n\n\n\n When you think of your dream reality for this year, how does it feel in your body? Does it feel expansive, or are there some parts of you that feel a bit of a contraction? Like they\u2019re not quite along for the ride? Most commonly this shows up as a tightness in the chest – part of us wants to believe this is possible, but our past realities (and thoughts) are saying \u201cnah it can\u2019t be this easy!\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Take some time today or tomorrow to tune into that restriction in the chest – breathe into it, and let it release. Notice how much lighter you feel, and how much more easeful the rest of your day becomes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
\n
\n