Tantra is more than just Sex! It is a lifestyle that, when applied correctly as the weaving of masculine and feminine energies and the exploration of the spiritual science of energy, can encompass every single facet of your life. Tantra provides us the opportunity to bring more mindfulness, more awareness, and more magic into even the most mundane of daily tasks – including your calendar!
If you’ve ever Googled “How Do I Get More Done?” “How To Prioritize?” “How to Optimize My Schedule” or “How To Maximize Success Without Burnout”, then babe – you’re in the right place!
A few weeks ago I published an introductory article with Wild Mag entitled The Must-Have Tantric Scheduling Hack for Higher Productivity. If you haven’t yet read that article, I recommend you start there for some introductory level context and to understand the “How To” portion of this practice.
In this blog post I will focus on expanding that original article based on questions and feedback I have received from YOU: My faithful blog readers who have been deliciously dedicated to learning, applying, and seeing these results and magick for yourself.
As a subscriber to my blog, not only do you get all the real, raw, unfiltered topics from me that aren’t published anywhere else (a la thoughts on Indonesia’s Sex Laws and The Dalai Lama) – but you also get deeper dives into the topics I’ve published elsewhere. I LOVE guest posting and publishing with these different movements; however their audience is typically less advanced than my standard community member (ie YOU!) and as a result those topics tend to be more entry level. By being a subscriber to my blog you’re sure to get the “Level 2” of any of my published articles whenever it feels that there is more depth or breadth available to the topic.
In short – by being here, you’re getting the very absolute best of all my writings. YAY!
So – back to optimizing your calendar with Tantra.
Many of you sent me questions and DMs on Instagram such as:
- Can this work for me if I have many conflicting priorities and responsibilities?
- How can I use this with my Human Design type?
- What happens if I am not able to fit everything in, or if the schedule feels too tight?
- How exactly do you, Stephanie Jaie, use this on a day-to-day basis?
Let’s answer all of these questions for you, shall we?
Q: Can this work for me if I have many conflicting priorities and responsibilities?
YES this scheduling practice can work for EVERYONE. Whether you are someone with a very open and free calendar and not a lot of “must do” responsibilities or someone who feels they have so many requirements that they could fill two lifetimes before they’re complete – this scheduling practice WILL work for you.
The magick here is in how it balances yin and yang energies; providing a safe container for you to be in flow state and use your intuition while ensuring you’re actually getting shit done without being so in your masculine that you’re exhausted (and potentially operating from the brain’s survival tendencies which certainly won’t get you closer to the dream life your heart desires!)
Personally I have found that this is especially useful for those of you who find yourselves at either end of the spectrum. If either of these statements resonate for you then you definitely need to give this a try!
- I feel like I’m in universal flow, I’m listening to my moment-by-moment urges, but things still aren’t manifesting at all (or as quickly as I’d like them to)
- I feel like I’m on a never-ending hamster wheel; from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed I’m doing doing doing and executing. I get lots done but I go to bed not feeling accomplished. I feel like I haven’t made progress on the things that actually matter.
The key theme here is; what I’m doing is not creating the results in my 3D reality that I desire to see.
We all know the famous quote from Einstein – doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result is the definition of insanity.
And I don’t think anyone reading this qualifies as insane! Or maybe we ALL qualify as insane… that’s a topic for another day ;)
I love this scheduling technique because it makes excellent use of the Universal Law of Action. Despite what we have learned from The Secret, we cannot just sit on our couch and dream up a purple elephant all day long to one day open our eyes and find a purple elephant in our living room. We MUST take action! But will just any action do? No! The key here is taking aligned action. The right actions, at the RIGHT TIME is what will create proper results for you.
Why Flow State Isn’t the Answer
The challenge with being in flow state the majority of your day is that it is purely responsive to the present moment. And while this can feel good and luxurious – it is NOT going to help you move towards those higher level goals. Why? Because your present moment has been created by your past beliefs, stories, and ways of being.
When we are only responding and working with energy exactly in the present moment with no forethought into creation or our future desires we simply continue to create more of the same reality. Now, if where you’re at in life is perfect in every way, then this isn’t an issue. But given you’re reading this blog at this moment, I’m willing to bet that there’s something in your life that you want that hasn’t materialized in your 3D reality yet. Magnetizing that thing to you – no matter what it is – will require that you do things DIFFERENTLY than the previous version of you has done them. It will require that you expend energy into creating a different future.
Think about it – if the past version of you was able to magnetize this item/person/experience you desire into your reality – then you’d already have it.
If it’s not physically in your 3D reality yet, it’s because the previous version of you (even the version of you 20 minutes ago!) wasn’t a vibrational match for it. Which by logic we can say you therefore must change something in your present day in order to magnetize that item into your future reality.
All of this is a very long way of saying: if you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always gotten.
Why a Hyper-Scheduled Day Isn’t the Answer
Likewise, hyper-scheduling your day down to the minute and not leaving ANY room for flow or intuition (or magick!) is also unlikely to produce the results you’re after. For starters, many of us tend to overestimate what we can actually get done in a day. We have a tendency to pack our calendars full, overestimating what can be done on a minute-by-minute basis and basically guaranteeing failure. If this sounds familiar watch out! This is a common trick used by the ego (especially for you perfectionists out there!) to create overwhelm, stagnation, and anxiety. This can stop you from making ANY progress in your life whatsoever (”I’m not going to finish it all so why even bother starting?”). And, even if you do get most of the to-do list completed, you’ll be doing it in an energy of anxiety and pushing. I’ll remind you that the key to manifestation is how you FEEL (vibrate) on a day to day basis. If you’re checking everything off your list but doing it in a way where you feel gross 80% of the time, what are you manifesting? More feeling gross! 🤮
As Tony Robbins says; most people overestimate what they can get done in a day, and underestimate what they can get done in a year.
Using a tantric practice in your calendar allows you to release the steam and focus on mindfully and intuitively completing tasks within each block. It allows you to stay focused for your set amount of time and duration – and it ensures you go to bed each night feeling accomplished.
The beauty of this is that as long as you have created a structure that supports your desires and you are taking these actions on a consistent basis, the success WILL come in every area you have prioritized. It literally MUST happen – it’s a universal law!
Q: How can I use this with my Human Design Type?
I got sooooo many DM’s from literally EVERY energy type in Human Design saying how this schedule is great but it won’t work for your energy type for this and that reason.
The Human Design world has given us a super powerful way to make decisions in our lives – this is called our Strategy and our Authority. They are INCREDIBLE tools that, when applied properly, will completely revolutionize your life and your ability to access intuition. This provides access to higher knowledge and eventually quantum leaps and timeline jumping. These are GOOD THINGS!
And, there is a prevailing story in Human Design that basically says “don’t do anything until your strategy and authority are activated”. And this, my friends, is complete and total BULLSHIT.
I find non-energy types (Projectors, Reflectors, and Manifestors) are most at risk here. “Oh I can’t do anything until someone recognizes me, so I’ll just sit on the couch and wait for recognition” (projectors). Bitch where do you think that recognition is going to come from? Unless you’re looking to win a “Sitting on the Couch” award that shit isn’t going to get you anywhere.
(PS if you have no idea what the fuck I am talking about here, it’s time for you to dig into Human Design! I love Jenna Zoe’s “My Human Design App” for beginners. If you’d like an intro level course or an in-depth 1:1 reading from me, lmk in the comments or via email/DM)
By energy type, here is what this can look like:
- I can’t take any action at all until I’ve had something to respond to (sacral generators and manifesting generators)
- I can’t do or say anything until I’ve been recognized (projectors)
- I can’t create anything until I’ve informed the world about it (manifestors)
- I have to sit here and chill for a full 28 days before I can make a decision (reflectors)
- I have to go through a full 5-day emotional wave before I can take action (emotional authority)
While YES these absolutely are the best way to follow your authority and make aligned actions – if we are living only in this paradigm we are going to miss out. We still need masculine/yang energy in our days. Even if – in fact, I’d argue ESPECIALLY IF – you’re a non-energy type.
The key here is to make sure you’re honouring your energy type when you’re making your schedule. As a Manifesting Generator, I’ve ensured there is plenty of space for me to do all the wild, crazy, different things I love doing in a day or week in my calendar. I’ve also allowed myself to work in “sprints” of longer days followed by rest days with shorter or no work periods (you’ll see this in action below), and created rest time in between EVERY one of my big work blocks. This is what works for my energy type.
A non-energy type looking at my schedule might want to barf. That’s okay – this is NOT how you should do it! But just because a busy calendar makes you want to run and hide doesn’t justify having no calendar at all. Remember – what did we learn about Yin energy above?
For my non-energy types; this might look like having big long luxurious break followed by small work blocks (maybe 3 hours rest to 1 hour of “work” as an example). You’ll have to play with the ratio to find what works for you.
And remember – every human is unique! You are not ONLY your energy type. What works for me as a Mani Gen might be too much or not enough for you based on your personal priorities, interests, and life stage. What works for one projector might not work for another. If you want to go deep into Human Design it’s also worth recognizing that there are many other aspects that affect your “best” scheduling situation – especially which of your centers are defined or undefined, the direction of your four arrows at the top of your chart, and your environment. If you are keen to dig into that shoot me an email/DM for a 1:1 HD session! But please remember – this level of detail is NOT necessary for you to execute a successful calendar and should NOT become a blocker to you moving forward. The extra information is helpful yes, but it is icing on the cake – not the cake itself!
Q: What happens if I am not able to fit everything in, or if the schedule feels too tight?
This is a great troubleshooting opportunity. There can be a variety of reasons that this is happening. Below I’ve provided several different options. You can try them in order if that feels good to you. Or, if you see one heading and feel intuitively drawn to that one, try that first for a few weeks and see what happens.
Option 1: Make your blocks more broad and less defined. Let’s say you have two blocks: “Home Admin” and “Work Admin”. Each one is scheduled for 2 hours a day and has activities as follows:
- Home Admin: organizing kids lunches, meal planning for the week, grocery shopping, running errands, paying bills, doing laundry, cleaning the kitchen, walking the dog, putting clothes out for tomorrow, catching up with friends on WhatsApp, answering emails from school, scheduling home based activities.
- Work Admin: scheduling blog posts, writing social media content, keeping up on emails, managing to-do list, answering all DMs, working on website, paying staff, staff meetings, any staff-related requests, board related admin projects, volunteer related admin projects.
This totals 4 hours a day based on your blocks. However you might find in practice that the “must do” priority items in the Home block really only take you on average 1 hour a day; and the work admin varies between 1 hour and 4 hours a day.
By combining these into ONE block called “Admin” and keeping it at 4 hours per day, you are providing yourself more flexibility and flow within that admin block. This makes it possible for you to more appropriately follow the natural ebbs and flows of each day. Maybe one day laundry takes extra long. No problem, you’ll just do fewer of the other items. Or one day a board related project requires more time, great then you focus there for more of your block.
The key to this is to learn over time which of your blocks naturally need to flow together; and which ones really need to be separated. Generally speaking, you want to minimize the number of blocks you have. Even on my busiest day I have only 8 blocks – and even that is a lot for most people. Any more than 8 and you’re getting into overscheduling territory which is going to make it feel like you don’t have enough time or like you’re being over restricted and prescriptive. Remember: this is about BALANCE! The blocks are the container, the activities within the blocks we get to choose intuitively.
So – take a big deep breath, relax, and combine those blocks!
Option 2: Prioritize Within Your Blocks
This is a GREAT way to make sure that even while you’re following your intuition, you’re getting the most important stuff done first. This can again alleviate that feeling of “not enough time” because everything is pre-prioritized in advance.
This can look like taking the “Work Admin” block above and saying “these three things must ALWAYS be done at the start of every week. Once complete, any item within the block can be selected.” For example, Paying Staff, Staff Meeting, and Writing Social Media content might be at the very top of the must-do list if you’re an entrepreneur. Therefore these become numbered 1, 2, and 3. Once those are complete each week, you can allow yourself to flow within the block as normal.
Like the tip above; I do want to caution against over use of this tip. If you prioritize the tasks in EVERY block then once again you’ve over scheduled yourself and removed the opportunities for flow, intuition, and magick. Use this tip sparingly. For me personally, this is applied only on the block where I know I have the biggest tendency to float off-topic and get distracted; AND where I also have the most need to produce consistent results in a variety of areas (this is my writing block, which I’ll explain in detail for you below).
Option 3: Do Less Stuff!
Okay let’s just level with each other for a minute. If you’ve done this whole schedule and read all these tips, applied them, and still you’re not finding enough time in the day – you’re going to have to look at your priorities and potentially do less stuff.
This can be a hard pill to swallow for my over-achievers (guilty as charged <<HAND UP EMOJI>>) but it absolutely has to be considered.
- Are your priorities ACTUALLY in alignment? Is the majority of your time going to things that light you up and move your life forward? Or are you blowing time in places that simply don’t deserve your attention (or as much of it as they’re getting)? Do you REALLY need that much sleep, that much rest time, that much time at the gym, that large of an admin block? Or are you self sabotaging?
- Where can you habit stack or double up? Lets say its a priority for you to listen to one podcast or read some pages of a book every day, but you just can’t fit it in. Time to get creative! Perhaps you can listen to it on your drive to work, while you’re on the bus, or while you’re walking through the grocery store? Are there ways you can involve your child in your workout so that it is fun for both of you? Instead of going for an hour long run on sundays and walking your dog, maybe you can go on an hour long hike with the dog or bring your dog with you on the run? You get the idea!
If all of that has not helped, it’s time to admit the inevitable: it’s time to LET GO of some stuff!
Sometimes we keep up old habits and patterns out of, well, habit. Just because you always used to do an hour long meditation the second you wake up every morning for the last 5 years doesn’t mean it’s what’s needed for THIS or the future version of you. Maybe you can cut it down to 30 minutes? And sometimes these patterns just need to be dropped completely. You can’t park your new car in the garage until you’ve removed the old one – and this is especially important for the tasks you do on a daily basis. It might be time for a spring cleaning!
Finally, it might be time to consider outsourcing in whatever capacity possible. Now that Cian and I are settled in Bangkok and have both figured out our routines, it’s become painfully apparent that we simply don’t have the time or space for groceries, cooking, laundry, and all the cleaning that comes along with a 4-bedroom house. Yet we both highly value a clean and orderly home and healthy home-cooked organic meals (don’t get me wrong we LOVE a good night out but that can’t be the norm for us). Neither of us were willing to consider not having a clean home or living exclusively off restaurant food; and neither of us were willing to take a substantial chunk of our week and dedicate it to these activities. This is when outsourcing is such magick! We’ve hired a live-in maid, and having this kind of support on a nearly 24/7 basis is an absolute game changer. I honestly can’t believe we didn’t do this sooner, and look forward to bringing on more long-term live-in staff as our family and priorities shift over the years.
Obviously depending on where you live and your financial situation full time live-in help might not be an option. But there are ALWAYS ways you can outsource if you’re willing to get creative. Here are a few ideas:
- Meal Prep: Hire someone to come in for a few hours once a week to prep all your meals for the week. They can cut, cook, and portion each meal out for you and the family on say Sundays leaving you with the simple task of reheating and plating for meal times.
- Laundry: One of the biggest parts of cleaning is often laundry; you can outsource THIS part of your cleaning duties weekly instead of the whole shebang.
- Hire a dog walker, lawn mower, clothes put-away-er etc – any easy-to-do highly repetitive task that isn’t something you genuinely enjoy can usually be outsourced to a teenager in your area.
- Lean on friends and family: work with friends and family to support you where you can; maybe grandma can take the kids every Tuesday afternoon, or you and your neighbour can swap babysitting nights. Maybe your sister can help you with filing and shipping for your business. Maybe the neighbour can help with grocery shopping if you frequent the same stores.
Consider JUST LETTING IT GO. Remember that not everything needs to be done every day, and we all have seasons in our lives. Maybe right now just isn’t the time to dive into the fashion line you’re designing, or launch the metaphysical store or tarot deck you’ve been dreaming of. It doesn’t mean you put these dreams on the shelf and forget about them – what it means is that you presently have other things in your 3D reality that require energy and stabilization before you can put energy into these new ideas. Maybe your kids need to get a bit older, or you need to hire a nanny, or you have other systems and routines that need to get ironed out first, or you’re focusing on growing your art following before you pivot into poetry.
Trust that what is desired by you is destined for you, and instead of trying to anxiously do all the things this very moment, follow your intuition and let some projects rest – for now.
Q: How exactly do you, Stephanie Jaie, use this on a day-to-day basis?
Alright, lets get personal and I’ll give you a glimpse into my actual calendar. Again, keep in mind that this is what suits my specific needs, desires, and goals in life currently. It is designed around MY energy type, when my brain is most awake, how my body feels most supported, and my priorities.
I share this here because so many of you asked to see a literal example to help with application and for that I am happy to oblige. However please DO NOT COPY MY CALENDAR EXACTLY – I know that can be a tempting quick fix but this calendar was not made with you in mind and therefore will not honour your energy and body needs. Copying it directly will lead to frustration, irritation, and might eve make you throw out the whole system. Which isn’t fair to you or your future! Please just don’t do it. Use this as inspiration and a template if that feels good – but make sure to input your own unique data. Capeesh?
Alright, let’s get into it!
My calendar is basically broken into two main sections: “Work” days which for me are Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. And “Play” days which are Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. My work days are highly scheduled, as you will see below. My Play days are completely unscheduled from a “blocks” perspective, but have specific agreements I hold myself to.
Work Days (Tuesday – Friday)
Important Tricks I Used in Creating My Calendar
Supporting My Natural Energy Cycles
Prioritizing the Things That Are Important To Your Soul
- I start every morning focusing on my Money Mindset and building my generational wealth. This means a highly targeted visualization practice followed by working with my budget (which I call my “Empire Building Formula” – cuz words matter, yo!) and finishing with a happy dance and some positive money mantras.
- Connecting with my familiar, Aurora, every morning is an absolute must. Despite having help in the house that could do these tasks for me, I choose to do them because this bonding time to me is vital. I feed Aurora breakfast every morning, we play and train together, and often I’ll take her for a quick walk. In the afternoons she goes to daycare to burn off her energy and get some socialization (this is one of the things we outsourced as soon as we arrived).
- Bonding time with Cian is also super high on my daily priority list. We’ve slotted out extra long meal breaks (in maroon) as mandatory connection time every single work day.
- In the morning when I know my brain is most active and inquisitive, I’ve given myself transition time between each task. This is “free time” for my brain. I can do whatever the fuck I want to here with no restrictions.
- My writing block is the very first “work” related thing I do each morning. This is when my creativity and energy are highest and I produce the absolute best content (like this article!). It is also my most structured block of the day with a full priority sequence. I implemented this for myself because quite frankly, I wasn’t honouring this writing block properly. No matter how good my intentions I would invariably end up in an online rabbit hole having written next to nothing each morning. I wrangled this in with a few rules, the biggest one being that this slot is for writing and writing only. This is not for implementing, posting, or researching. This is a pure creative slot – I sit down, put fingers to keyboard, and I WRITE. That is it, that is all. To focus this even more, I created a list of weekly priorities whereby I do not start a lower item until the earlier item for that week is compete:
- Blog post – 1 per week
- Website content (fresh new website coming soon!) – until feeling stuck/blocked for the week
- Book Writing (my chapter for the intuition book is now COMPLETE so I’ve pivoted this energy to my first ever solo-authored enterprise; a book all about orgasmic manifestation! Ill be sharing more about this with you soon) – until feeling complete for the week
- Emails/social content – whatever energy is left at the end of the week goes to writing emails announcing new events, releasing these blog posts, and social media content IF I feel like it
- I absolutely MUST have some kind of physical activity in the middle of my work day. This helps me with my posture and not getting stuck in the desk all day. It gets me out of the house and provides perspective. It keeps my energy flowing freely and my vitality up. It keeps my body strong and ensures powerful currents of Qi and Eros flow smoothly. Most importantly – as a Manifesting Generator and someone with diagnosed high levels of ADHD (I have thoughts on that which we’ll save for a future post) it burns off the insane amount of physical energy I start every day with – meaning I can actually sleep at night.
- Admin and Calls are the very last slot of the day because they take the least amount of mental energy for me. As a social butterfly who’s been in the public eye one way or another for most of her career I can now do calls, podcast interviews, etc in my sleep (I mean, not literally… but you catch my drift!). They’re natural and easy for me; as is catching up on messages, scheduling emails, organizing and logistical planning, etc. So these activities will always be end of day activities for me.
Now, you may be wondering “wheres the time for social activities and play, Stephanie?! This doesn’t look like a lot of fun…”
To which I bring you, my weekend calendar:
Weekend Days (Saturday – Monday)
Sweet, glorious, nothingness. Delicious empty space. So much room for magick!
Obviously as events and activities come up this empty space gets filled. The point here is that everything is elective and nothing is prescribed. I get three full days a week of PURE flow, doing whatever feels good to say yes to in the moment. Fully surrendering to this feels amazing, because I know I’ve had a pretty solid week of masculine getting shit done.
I do have some agreements that I hold loosely with myself for each weekend:
- At least one long outdoor activity with Aurora every week (ie a hike)
- At least one creative/art activity per week
- At least one social in person activity per week
- At least one date-night activity with Cian per week
Generally speaking these activities all happen on the weekend. The exact activities and details change literally every week which is SO fun to me.
To be clear – ALL of my week is FUN to me. Actually, ALL of this entire calendar is fun to me. All of it feels good, and all of it feels flow, all of it feels aligned. Nothing really feels like work or hustle or like I’m forcing it – even though there is a LOT of things going on. This is a healthy balance of masculine and feminine.
When we balance both, we get to feel satisfied and empowered by how much meaningful shit we’re getting done each week while STILL having fun and spoiling ourselves. This is my dream for you to experience!
One final tip that tripped me up real good when we arrived to Bangkok – make sure you’re making your schedule based on your CURRENT DAY REALITY (with some tweaks to ensure you’re creating the future you desire) and not your future state.
When we first moved here I was getting overwhelmed and bent out of shape trying to create my calendar based on what I THOUGHT my life here might look like. When I thought I might end up having calls, when I thought I’d want to go to the office, when I thought I might have group study sessions. The problem with this is that all of it was hypothetical – and, frankly, most of what I thought was actually wrong. The office schedule will be different. The PhD calls are different. My other courses have different call times – basically, by me creating based on what I thought might pan out, I stressed myself out for no reason and actually made it WRONG.
THREE FUCKING TIMES.
This created way more frustration and stagnation than was necessary.
Don’t be like me – do this smarter!
The current calendar you see in this blog post is what I am using right now, today, because it works for me right now, today. It takes into account that I work from my home office, there is a park across the street, and the mall/gym/restaurants are all within a 5 minute walk. I have literally no transit time. It takes into account the group study calls for my current PhD phase and space for podcast interviews which are flexible in timing.
By September this calendar will look WILDLY different. I will have moved my home office into a beautiful skyview co-working space on the 39th floor of the financial district in Bangkok. I’ll have transit time! I’ll be in a different phase of my PhD with different call times. I’ll be working more closely with Tony Robbins and Vishen Lakhiani (MindValley). And, I’ll be working with some of society’s most elite bachelors and bachelorettes helping them find love (more on that coming soon!).
The point here is – schedule for what works today; and when life invariably changes, change the calendar too!
If you’ve made it this far – wow, cheers to you my friend! This ended up being MUCH more in depth, detailed, and long than I anticipated. I hope what I’ve shared here today has inspired you to give this calendar hack a try – and if you’ve been trying it already, I hope it provided the troubleshooting tips needed to really optimize it.
And if neither of those things apply I hope at the very least this blog post has inspired you to take even one tinsy step forward towards creating the life of your dreams. You deserve it!
Love, Magick, and Pleasure;